I watch Films.

So, I've been watching films for the past 3-4 days, as there doesn't seem to be too much else to do during my "off time". Though most of the films I've watched are one's I have previously seen, there were a few new ones as well. And, they got me thinking. Like, really thinking. I just wanted to write a little bit about what's been on my mind during these films. WARNING: Spoilers Included.

1) An Education:
Synopsis: Girl meets Man, Girl falls for Man, Girl leaves school to marry Man, Man turns out to already be married, Girl attempts to get life back on track.
Ok, so what's been driving me mad about this film is that, although we clearly see the importance of acquiring an education rather than following the "fun" route, I think it's ridiculous how heavy the Girl's parents push her into a post-secondary education. Now, perhaps it's my own upbringing, but I have never once been guilt-tripped, forced, or or made to feel "less than" if I didn't go to Uni. I have a hard time watching films where parents try to force their children to live the lives they always wanted for themselves. I had less a problem about the Girl and the Man, and more about the relationship, or lack thereof, between the Daughter and her Parents, Parents who should have simply loved their Daughter and required nothing but her best from her.

2) Boy A
Synopsis: Boy is released from prison after having been charged with a girl's murder while he was young, Starts afresh under a new name until he is found out after having is photo taken after he saves a young girl from a car wreck, Viewer left to wonder if he commits suicide in the end or lives.
This one really touched me. I've been meaning to watch this film for the past five years or so, after having watched the trailer was immediately intrigued. Yes, it is not the happiest, most feel-good films you'll ever watch, in fact, far from that. However, the thing that struck me most what the idea of rehabilitation for criminals, particularly those charged while they are underage. One of the characters (the lawyer presenting the case against the Boy) says that the Boy is "bad" and "evil". These are the words used to describe a troubled young boy who's mother refuses to speak to him, who gets beat up by the older class mates, and is overall just a lost kid. Even though the Boy is guilty of taking part in a young girl's murder, during his time in prison and through the help of one friend/social worker, he is rehabilitated. But his rehabilitation is called into question as people find out who he is. It hurts me to know that even though this Boy caused suffering and suffered a lot, his past simply continues to haunt him and binds him to a fate he is not deserving of. No one deserves to be tormented and tortured by one's past mistakes, no matter what. There would be no hope if not for redemption and forgiveness. 

3) The Social Network
Synopsis: the story of Facebook, Mark Zuckerburg's character in the film screws over friend and foe leaving the Viewer with a sudden urge to delete one's own Facebook account.
Now, I don't know Marky Z. personally, nor was I present for any of the events in the film, so I will speak about this as if speak about just another Hollywood film. Watching this film I was, for lack of a better word, pissed off at Mark's character. I know you're not supposed to like him in the film, but he was terrible. He wasn't nasty or cruel; he was just indifferent to everyone but himself. It really opened my eyes to the selfishness that everyone is capable of, and how disgusting it is to see in action. It was painful watching a friendship literally destroyed because of petty jealousy and miscommunication. All I can say is, I desperately hope I will always be someone who exudes honesty, integrity, and selfless love for my friends, family, and even those that I'm not too keen on. 

Well, that's that. Not much else to this post. Just felt like doing something other than watching films. Besides, watching films alone in your room really isn't that much fun and, as an extrovert, I need to speak my thoughts somehow!

Nearly Home

Well, the September DTS has finally come to a close. All the trainees have either gone home or are traveling, the staff are taking advantage of a bit of down time, and I have moved into a new flat as of last Saturday. It all takes a bit of getting used to, but does it ever feel good to be wrapping things up!
It has been an incredible past year here, and I have not only seen the people around me grow immeasurably, but I myself do not feel like the same person I was at the beginning of 2012. While still in Thailand, I took some time to  write down all that 2012 had consisted of and what I hoped 2013 would include. Though the future is still uncertain at the moment, here's a bit of what has happened and what I hope will continue:

- new haircut, including straight-across fringe
- new piercing (upper ear)
- learned to bake, enjoy baking, and have an array of aprons now
- poetry-reading, wine-tasting, sing-song evening in Weymouth with Jeff and Jill
- No Makeup Month (best month ever!)
- spoke in tongues (and have continued since) for the first time
- learned that I love to paint and I would hesitantly call myself an "artist"
- I make mean rum balls!
- learned the beauty and importance of repentance
- filled with the Holy Spirit on multiple occasions (resulted in hysterical laughter and weeping...experienced a closeness to God I'd never felt before)
- gave many pep-talks, some including an impromptu prayer session
- learned to play guitar and the ukelele
- learned to Texas Two-Step, salsa, and swing dance
- made poutine for Cultural Night (Canada for the win)
- led a few people to the Lord (YES!!!!!!)
- painted a picture for a complete stranger and then prayed with her in a coffee shop
- saw provision in ways I didn't think possible

All I can say is that God is so good. It has been an amazing time here and I look forward to going home (can't say how long for) and sharing what's been happening with me to others! Homeward Bound in nine days, y'all!

Triumphant Return

So, dear Readers, I return to you once more! First, let me warn you that I am still without   much internet, so I most likely won't post for another three weeks, when I return to England and am once more reunited with my beloved, however beaten and bruised, Acer laptop! 

Thailand was amazing. I really can't think of much more to say other than just that; the people, the culture, the landscape, the food, the clothes...everything was amazing! Having initially gone into the country wary of what the time there would look like, I left feeling as if part of me was left behind. Needless to say, I will most likely be returning, God-willing, at some point in my life, for what purpose, though, I do not know.

I am currently in Northern Ireland, where the last bit of outreach will happen. I'm positive I have already mentioned this previously, but this is Home. I love every part of the UK that I have lived in and/or visited, but Northern Ireland, particularly this Belfast area, is Home and where, I believe, I will end up living out a number of my days. 

From the cold and brightly colored murals that depict victory and defeat to the ruckus of pubs teeming with friendly faces and old men who caution me to "watch out for eager young lads", I love this place! It has the best of any landscape; snow-capped mountains, rolling green hills, roaring ocean tides, castle ruins atop sheer cliffs, and so on. What more could you want, honestly? Perhaps aside from hot weather, sandy beaches, and tropical fruits...everything that embodies Thailand, essentially! Well, both beautiful, both stunning in every which way. But Northern Ireland is where, at the end of the day, I want to be, my cuppa tea in hand and hot waterbottle shoved in my jumper.

Ever since my outreach to Belfast nearly two years ago, my heart has yearned to return to this beautiful country, so rich in history and culture, so steeped in beauty and magnificence, so lost and hurting for a sense of destiny, purpose, and hope. I think that's part of what draws me here; this sense of excitement to share hope to the hopeless, peace to the restless, love to the hurting and uncared for. It's not only part of our nature to want to help others, but it's part of our God-given mandate, which is freakin' epic! I want to be a part of a Revolution of Hope here in Northern Ireland! I want to see a nation that has fought over its' identity for years walk in its' God-ordained, intended identity once and for all. How cool will that be? And I want to be here, part of it, tied to the outcome of this fight and committed to a cause, a purpose, a hope worth living and dying for.

And who knows, maybe, someday be joined by an "eager young lad" by my side? I'm not complaining...

Peace Out!

Yes, so tomorrow, bright and early (though technically, it will still be quite dark), my outreach team heads off for the beautiful country of Thailand! As I will be without a laptop for the next few months, I will be unable to update my blog. However, we will have a Team Blog which we hope to update at least once a week while away. Here's the blog and please keep us in your prayers!

Thailand and Belfast Team 

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

Next?

So, God has this thing that He does where He constantly messes with my plans. Such as, having finally figured out what's next after this DTS and then being blown away by yet another opportunity just three days before I leave the country. Yeah, thanks for that one. 

I have no idea where God is leading me in my life, and I've realized that I really can't plan out my life either. Kind of sucks when your Meyers-Briggs defines you as, "...well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments." Not saying my personality is the only thing that defines me, but it does ring true in many areas.

If anyone reading this gets the chance, could you shoot a prayer my way? There are a million and one things I want to do, and very few resources to do them all. Currently, my support base is minimal, namely, my family. If missions is something I want to pursue long-term, then I really need a wider support base, which I hope to grow and maintain when I go home sometime next year, however long a stint that may be. Also pray that God will give me really clear guidance, like writing-on-the-wall type guidance! Thank you so very much one and all! Peace Out!

Untitled (I welcome any suggestions!)

If every Thought were an Action

and every Action a Sound,

would we awake to Laughter

or to Weeping all around?

If every Tear could be heard

when it hit the cold floor,

would we notice the Hurting

or Ignore as before?

If every Lie we ever told

was written over our Skin

Could we hide the Markings

or would the Ink seep in?

Would our Blood turn black

from the Deception we’ve sown?

Would we Lie to ourselves

to mask the Pain we’ve known?

If I claimed to be "godly"

Holy and True,

would I still cross the street

to avoid people like you?

 

 

Goodbye and Sa-Wat-Dee Kah!

The time is quickly approaching, and as I now have my visa, I can officially say, "I am off to Thailand next week"! 
So, yes, perhaps I am announcing this a tad abruptly, however, as I only received my visa as of yesterday afternoon, I felt it best to wait until everything was set in stone. It now is! I will be leaving for Bangkok on Monday, with a two hour layover in Mumbai, arriving in the morning (meaning I have to spend the entire day recovering from jet lag...fun). After a few days of orientation to Thailand, we will be headed to our leaders familys' ministry up North, where they run a home for girls and young women, providing them with education and a safe place where they learn to work together and live in community. After a few weeks, my first ever hot Christmas and birthday (Twenty Y'all!), we will be headed back South and working with different ministries in one of two cities, with a focus on children and women in prostitution with possibly slum ministries as well. 
I am incredibly excited to be heading out this upcoming week. In all honesty, I don't really know what to expect from this time, as I have never been to Thailand. But I do know that God has big things planned! 
The team is very excited, however stressed they may be in terms of packing and cleaning beforehand, with a Christmas party planned every night from now until we leave. Exciting, but very tiring!

This may be my last post for awhile (unless I find time this weekend to shoot off another quicky). With that in mind, a few areas that could really use prayer:
- that the team will have all their finances by the time we leave (we are still short quite a bit of money)
- for safe travels via plane, car, etc and that no one will get travel sickness/jetlag
- that God will be giving us clear insight into which ministries, churches, and charities to get involved with when we're there
- for a fun Christmas and birthday (and with that, no homesickness for any of the team)
- and just for a really great, amazing time in this beautiful country!

Thanks so much to everyone who has been praying and donating money to me, my team, and the rest of the DTS as well. God Bless you all and have a Very, Merry Christmas!