I was up rather early this morning (ok, 7:30) getting ready to meet a few of my co-workers at work to watch the Canada vs. US hockey game. First and foremost, Canada won! Huzzah! So, we're all sitting around and a trailer plays for a new film coming out this year called "Noah". Obviously, it's about Noah, like biblical Noah and his ark. As the trailer is playing, the only going through my head is, "Dang, they have some terrific actors lined up for this; I hope they do the story justice". I could hear my co-workers murmuring something about not knowing the story and trying to figure out what it's about. Naturally, I chirp up and say, "It's the Bible story of Noah and the ark", suddenly proud to have some Bible knowledge, however basic that answer was. My manager looks at me and says, "Well, then, I won't be watching that." Kind of taken aback, I ask why not, thinking it was more of a stick-it-to-the-Man motive. She looks at me and said in total seriousness, "I don't understand all of it, all that Jesus Christ nonsense". It hit me like a ton of bricks, and while everyone continued their rowdiness as the game came back on, the only thing I could think of was that people don't understand the Bible.
I know that such an obvious thing that I should understand, having attended public school my entire life and being friends with a surprising number of...hooligans, for lack of a better word. But after the past few years being so fully immersed in a Bible-culture, it was suddenly such a strange thought to realize that most people don't "get" the Bible.
Afterall, we're not just talking about cool stories that you read and move on afterwards; we're talking historical accounts about real people in real situations talking to...a real God? What? I mean, from an outside perspective, I'm totally fine with the idea that the Bible is based on facts, accurate historical tellings. However, when you insert God, and all that that implies, it kind of changes things, doesn't it? It's no longer simply a "story" or "history", it's "religious" and that throws people for a loop.
I began thinking that it's kind of as if some people read the Bible as if it's written in the font Wingdings; you know that those little symbols mean something, but you haven't the foggiest clue as to what! I used to try to write secret messages to people using Wingdings, but would just end up confusing myself as I tried to "re-read" what I wrote, which is nearly impossible...unless you're fluent in Wingdings!
Anyways, so after thinking about this, I started wondering, "How do we un-wingding-ify the Bible so it makes sense without getting all religious?". How do you take something as beautiful and sacred as the Bible and simplify it quickly enough that even those with a miniscule attention span can hear what you're saying and actually take it in? What's more, should I have used that opportunity to try to explain things to my co-workers and manager? Sure, the hockey game was on and things were getting pretty intense, but shouldn't the Bible be something that we can talk about easily, rather than dredging on and on about? I don't know and I'm really just blabbering now, but it certainly got me thinking! Anyone have any suggestions?
It has recently come to my attention that as much as I talk about being content and rather happy with being a single woman, I do talk an awful lot about relationships. Not only do I talk a lot about them, but I'm starting to think perhaps I secretly want one. Not that I think one can simply obtain a relationship like some item on a grocery list or acquire one when the craving arises; we're not discussing chocolate here. Perhaps a better suited phrase would be I am secretly eagerly awaiting the hopefully inevitable pursuit of being wooed. Winded, but probably more accurate.
It is often confusing though. I view myself as being a strong, secure and independent human being, someone able to withhold petty human emotions like romantic love. Obviously, the sense of security I have within myself is skewed, and in a big way. I don't believe people are meant to withhold affection for the sake of independence, whether it be of a platonic or romantic nature. If that were the case, we really wouldn't need other people in our lives, would we? And being a person who literally lies on my floor if I'm apart from people and civilization for more than two days, people are clearly important to me and possibly my mental well-being too.
However, I am also one who enjoys bucking the trend. Example: in grade three, I vowed to always detest horses, dolphins, and the flute due to the popularity of those things within the female portion of my classmates. To this day, I am still wary of horses, claim that dolphins are evil, and think the flute is ridiculous (no offense to anyone who plays the flute or has a soft spot for either animal). And a seemingly reoccurring trend among my friends, classmates and peers are relationships, and poor ones at that. True, the older I get, the more friends I have who have been lucky enough to meet amazing significant others who better them, encourage them, and truly love them and I am constantly grateful to know wonderful couples like that. I suppose somewhere, deep within my proud and rebellious heart, I believe that if I can buck the trend as long as possible, than I've officially made it to Saint-like Maturity. As I continue to write this post, I'm realizing more and more how ridiculous this whole thing is, which is probably a good thing to realize now rather than 25 years down the road when I'm a bitter and cynical single still.
It's funny to think that my mother was married at my age, technically even a few months younger than I am now. Funny, and a definite check on where I am in life. I mean, my mother and father clearly had the maturity, the wisdom and the deep love that only a married couple can have by this age, something that I still feel so far away from. So, perhaps in my pursuit for utter independence, I've actually been pushing away the idea and reality of true commitment, which is ultimately the biggest sacrifice one can make and perhaps the truest mark of Saint-like Maturity, as commitment, whether to God or a person, takes an incredible amount of faith and trust. Perhaps in a roundabout way, I've been regarding relationships in a far more childish way than I care to admit...though I suppose this post just admitted it for me.
Before I end this long and convoluted post, let me reassure Readers that I have no intentions of trying to make up for wrong thinking by latching on to the nearest Available around me; that would be stupid, plain and simple. Don't expect to see any changed Facebook statuses in the near future either. However, now that I've shared my thoughts and am perhaps a bit more open to the overall idea of romantic relationships, maybe the next time my folks mention "grandchildren" I won't scoff quite as loudly! Lots of love (the platonic kind, I mean) to you all!
It's official: Fall is upon us. Though technically we have another two weeks till the calender declares it Autumn, but we all know that Fall begins as soon as the first Pumpkin Spice Latte is consumed (with long-awaited gusto, I might add). So here I sit, drinking my third Pumpkin Spice of the Season, attempting to study for my first test this semester whilst being serenaded by Diana Krall. And while I sit here, I find myself thinking about my future. Though I seem to worry and fret about my future on a daily basis, I now find myself languishing the thought of being twenty-eight (I never said it was a "distant future"), sipping the first PS Latte of the season, smiling and loving life, perhaps with an equally life-loving man next to me!
The fact is I really have no notion about what the future looks like, and I'm certain any thoughts I may have are WAY off base! So occasionally, I enjoy day-dreaming about life and the possible good that could ensue. I'm certain I'm not alone in this either. Admit it, at some point I'm sure everyone reading this has sat back and wondered, "Hmmm...what if...?"
This is my What If moment. And I am enjoying it immensely! Soy Pumpkin Spice Latte and all!
There really is no rhyme or reason behind this post, as is the case with most of what I write. Meh...my grade nine English teacher would be appalled (Remember...TRANSITION!), but I enjoy simply typing sometimes. Meaningless as these scribbles (or rather, pixels) may be, there something to think on, something to savor, something to smile at.
Speaking of smiling, here's a few old photos of my dog, Rolo! Enjoy and Goodnight!
Before I begin, apology for my lack of recent updates. Not that, I suspect, my infrequent posts give reason for anyone to be dismayed (save perhaps my Mother), but I apologize all the same!
It's true...or rather, it's TRU! I am a student once more! Not to be dramatic, but I never thought I'd live long enough to see the day I willingly returned to school. But, alas, the time has come! I am currently enrolled in Professional Cook Training Year 1, which sounds far more glamorous that it is. Though there is some theory, most of the course is practical, hands-on work experience, which I am so looking forward to. As first year students, we will be cooking for the University's cafeteria, open for both breakfast and lunch. Early mornings and off early enough in the afternoons to have plenty of time to work outside of school. I will pretty much have no life outside of a kitchen for the following months. My future husband will be very pleased indeed...
I confess that I was less than thrilled upon arrival today. Though some of you reading this know me as a funny, occasionally obnoxious, lovely lass, I have to say this: I DETEST CROWDS! Especially crowds where I am new and have no immediate connection to anyone or anything. It honestly makes me want to run for the hills. I literally had to force myself to even introduce myself to people today. I can't blame it all on being exhausted (barely a lick of sleep last night) or personality traits. I can say I was beyond nervous for the first hour or so, for no apparent reason either. It's not like the students and faculty are out to kill me (as far as I know...).
If anything, the thing that reaffirmed that I'm not in fact insane for enrolling was this: I'm really not here for me. Listening to the instructor talk about how food creates an experience for people, that you can go anywhere with these skills, that in the kitchen it's all about a "Family"...I remembered that I'm here for people. I'm here to meet people in my course who have incredible passion and to be inspired by them and be inspiring for them. I'm here to learn from my instructors, all of whom I'm sure have fantastic stories and who will instill in me a passion for creating something beautiful (and delicious). And I'm also here because I want to bless people in years to come; Not only by the food I make for others, but by teaching others skills they can use to bless their friends and families, skills to help people get back on their feet and move forward in life. I want to use my passion for people to fuel my passion food, not the other way around.
So, I look forward to learning how to filet a fish, make choux pastry properly and put together a divine product. I look forward to it because, for me, it's not about the food itself, but rather about the people who enjoy it and are with me to see it through.
Hope this sentimental and rather sappy blog post makes you smile! And think, as you read this today, tomorrow, or months down the road...what skills and passions do YOU have that you use to bless others? And are you, indeed, blessing others with them? So go out there and make someone's day today! Lot's of Love to one and all!
When I was still living in England, I had to take the train to get anywhere out of town. Although skeptical of public transport at first, I soon grew to love the train system. The one thing that I noticed right away was that as the train pulled into the station, the loud speakers would crackle to life. "We are approaching __________ Station. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge" would echo throughout the station and train itself. Sure enough, as the doors opened up onto the platform, you'd look down to see a six inch gap between the train and the tracks below. Making sure to take a hefty step from door to platform, I'd follow the traffic of people flowing out and go about my business.
Now, one week ago, I was in church for the first time in awhile. Though I love my new job, it does take up much of my week, including early Sunday afternoons. This Sunday was no exception, and I was only able to stay for the beginning of church. As the sermon started, I realized that the topic for the past couple week had been "The Life You Live". My pastor began his sermon, and as he spoke, I realized how much what he was saying resonated with me. One thing that really struck a chord was when he asked the congregation, "Are you living the life you want to live?" He followed that thought by asking, "Is there a gap between where you want to be in life and where you are?" These questions have led me here, to this blog post.
I've been mulling those questions over in my head now for a week. Granted, I've really been putting off thinking about them since coming back to Canada. But the image of a gap is what really hit me this time around. Let me put it this way:
If I look at where I'm at as being a train platform, and where I want to go as being getting on the train, then I would say I'm still sitting on the platform, trying to wave down the passing trains. Sometimes I feel like the gap between me and the train I want is immeasurable, a distance almost greater than the journey itself. Other times, it seems like things are going my way and the trains are lined up to take me to my next destination.
It's a funny thing, waiting for wherever you're going next in life. It's also hard to not be so forward-focused that you miss out where you are now. It's difficult when I know where I WANT to go, but going back and asking God where do I NEED to go. As much as I love to think I know best, I don't. So I keep trying to make the most of my time here, wherever "here" may be, still looking towards my future destination, bridging the gap between where I am and where I know I'm destined to go.
This week I (finally) began my new job, working in the kitchen of a new restaurant here in town. Being a new restaurant, the training schedule has been very busy and there's always two to three times more people training than will actually be working a regular shift. Despite all this newness, I am LOVING my new job! Sure, I may be one of a handful of girls working in the back, and I do believe the red dot on my thumb is a burn mark, but it's been incredible thus far.
Part of this excitement over the job I think is also due to having been bored out of my mind since coming home. Given the lack of transportation, my own apathy, and bipolar weather, my laptop has proven its true friendship these past couple of months. Needless to say then, that working with other human beings has been a major high. However, one thing has been bothering me since I started working. One thing which hadn't even dawned on me until this week; I don't know how to have fun.
Let me elaborate a little bit:
Before I left for England, not only was I in a different town, but I was in a completely different age bracket. I was still a teenager, and a good law-abiding one at that. So, now I'm back in Canada, now a legal adult and am no longer affiliated with anything involving school, youth group, or anything else "young". This being said, I honestly haven't the slightest idea how to hang out with people my own age.
The only young adults I've hung out since I reached that age bracket have all been Christians, good, law-abiding Christians who truly do love God. I haven't been with young adults who aren't Christians (and sometimes aren't law-abiding) since I joined the ranks. To give you some more context, even just listening to the conversations at work can be difficult. Now, I can already say that I really, truly love my co-workers, which is awesome, but some of the things I hear being said and discussed makes me feel on the outs. Green Brownies, leisurely hook-ups, drinking till blackout occurs are seemingly the main source of humor within the crew. Back in my McDonalds days, yes, I would've found these stories hilarious and probably would've even encouraged them. But how do I respond now?
I see the way I am now and where I've come from, and I can truthfully say I pray that I never go back to that. I'm not proud of the things I found funny and the things that I said to be funny. I want to have integrity in every area of my life. So how can I be relevant, hilarious, honest, upright and moral, and still be able to go out the pub with my new-found friends? The answer to this is probably simple, and probably ends in "Just Be Yourself", but sometimes it doesn't feel as simple as stated. Sometimes life, relationships, all these things can feel like a juggling act, all a careful balance between chaos and control, order and a world of pain. I don't understand it myself, and I often find myself wondering why, if I'm such a people person, is it so hard for me to figure them out?
On a plus side, I have recently acquired a phone, so friends, I'm not as far gone as I thought I was. Progress...
It has come to my attention that, after twenty years of ignorance and denial, I am a bit of an odd person. There, I said it. It's time to face the facts and deal with the hand I've been dealt. It has taken awhile to come to terms with this shocking self-revelation, but I now can say in total confidence that I, Jade, am odd and I'm okay with that.
Clearly, this is not as monumental a discovery as I'm making it out to be, but in light of the fact that my last entry was anything but "cheery", I thought something out of the blue was needed. So, here are The Fifteen Reasons Why I Am A Strange One Indeed:
1) Whether I'm alone in my home or in the public eye, I continue to speak to my dog, Rolo, as if she were able to communicate back. No baby talk, but I do find myself asking her some of life's greatest questions, and then pausing for a response.
2) I am a sucker for Science Fiction and Fantasy television series. And nothing thrills me more than finding a kindred spirit, someone who chuckles when they see my TARDIS themed t-shirt. Nothing, except for...
3) ...when someone comments on an incredibly clever Facebook status that I spent time mapping out in my head. Thank you for acknowledging my wit.
4) I have never and will never read an electronic book. Why? Because dog-earing a page of a book makes me feel ten times for accomplished in life.
5) My idea of a perfect weekend morning is waking up, only to spend the next three hours in bed watching movie trailers on YouTube.
6) Also, I read movie and book plots on Wikipedia to determine whether or not I want to dedicate time to either.
7) I have dressed up every Halloween, save this past one. Most memorable costumes include a geisha, a gypsy, and a t-shirt which read "This is my Halloween costume" across the chest. Needless to say, the latter received the most comments (and possibly the most stares...never again).
8) I have collected Archie comics since Grade 4. I also keep a stack of about five in my bathroom at any given time (for those longer sessions).
9) I also collect odd rocks and gemstones. I keep them in the same box I kept a tuft of hair from my first hamster, Teddy. Though the tuft as been removed since, I think of him every time I open that sequined heart box.
10) I am a master air guitar player and lip-syncer and practice frequently in my bedroom.
11) I have my deepest thoughts while showering. Most major revelations in my life have come to mind somewhere between shampooing my hair and shaving my legs. This is partly due to the fact that I often "reenact" interviews between myself and Oprah (yes, Ms. Winfrey herself). Don't ask where this habit came from; I haven't the slightest idea. But I can say that had Oprah ever interviewed me, I would have presented solutions to world poverty, homelessness, the prison system, legalizing gay marriage, the abortion issues, religion in schools and religious freedom, all while being complemented on my latest novel/album/film/etc. Trust me, I am the most kick-ass person Oprah would have ever interviewed!
12) The only way I enjoy cooking is with music blasting. More specifically, I only really enjoy baking while listening to swing music or anything jazzy. Also, I prefer to be wearing either a dress or skirt with my apron and heels. Or bare feet, depends on how sexy I feel while sifting flour.
13) I lay awake two nights ago thinking of things that make me weird before I decided to make a list.
14) I have multiple bizarre celebrity crushes. Not your typical Justin Beiber or Channing Tatum crushes. There's Edward Norton, Kevin Spacey, Robert Downey Jr., Liam Neeson, and David Tennant to name a few. Common thread: they're all older than my folks. Is this a problem?
15) And last, but not least, the final thing that makes me strange is that I think that all these points are strange. Sure, some of them are worthy of a "Come again?", but, hey, these a simply a few things that make up the wonderfully weird person that I am and am so thankful to be. There's been plenty of times growing up and all where I questioned who I was and why I was. There were plenty of times where I remember thinking I would never fit in this world, no matter what. But (it's about to get religious up in here) God made me as I am, when I am, where I am, what I am, and who I am. Honestly, if I tried to attempt to be anything other than Jade, well, I simply wouldn't be Jade (duh...). So strange, weird, or perfectly Jade-like. Call it what you will, and love it all the same!
