Beginnings of Real Life

This is it; the final stretch before I take the big leap. So, why do I feel like everything comes down to these next few weeks? Isn't my adventure supposed to begin after I arrive in the UK? But suddenly, I'm struck with a million different things, plans, events that all drain me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Is this a test? Is this curse, devil, evil being somehow trying to get me to rethink everything, to just give up so close to the beginning? Why now? Why not 3 months ago when I could right wrongs and schedule in room for error? Whether real or imagined, I feel like something's out to get me, but worse, to make me forget the reason for this adventure; He who lay down His life for the sins of this world so that I might know Him and make Him known. I know that He knows all things and that Good always prevails, but does that mean when things go haywire in life, I'm supposed to only see the silver lining? Granted, there can often be a silver lining in terrible situations. Take my accident last Friday; no one was hurt, and in the end, everything worked itself out one way or another. But what about something bigger than that, say a serious injury or a death? How do you find God in that? How can I say to someone who's lived through tragedy that everything's ok? Maybe that's what Real Life is though, learning to deal with the big things even when we can't grasp it or find comfort in it. Maybe not being able to grasp reality is the single greatest blessing one can receive; it allows us to live our lives as innocently and as free from the oppression of sin in this world as possible. No, I don't like not knowing why things happen and for what purpose, but I guess the thing that drives me is that Someone greater than myself knows, and though dark times may fall upon me, He'll never let me down.
(Dedicated to Dave - R.I.P Dear Friend)