Romantic Ramblings

It has recently come to my attention that as much as I talk about being content and rather happy with being a single woman, I do talk an awful lot about relationships. Not only do I talk a lot about them, but I'm starting to think perhaps I secretly want one. Not that I think one can simply obtain a relationship like some item on a grocery list or acquire one when the craving arises; we're not discussing chocolate here. Perhaps a better suited phrase would be I am secretly eagerly awaiting the hopefully inevitable pursuit of being wooed. Winded, but probably more accurate.

It is often confusing though. I view myself as being a strong, secure and independent human being, someone able to withhold petty human emotions like romantic love. Obviously, the sense of security I have within myself is skewed, and in a big way. I don't believe people are meant to withhold affection for the sake of independence, whether it be of a platonic or romantic nature. If that were the case, we really wouldn't need other people in our lives, would we? And being a person who literally lies on my floor if I'm apart from people and civilization for more than two days, people are clearly important to me and possibly my mental well-being too. 

However, I am also one who enjoys bucking the trend. Example: in grade three, I vowed to always detest horses, dolphins, and the flute due to the popularity of those things within the female portion of my classmates. To this day, I am still wary of horses, claim that dolphins are evil, and think the flute is ridiculous (no offense to anyone who plays the flute or has a soft spot for either animal). And a seemingly reoccurring trend among my friends, classmates and peers are relationships, and poor ones at that. True, the older I get, the more friends I have who have been lucky enough to meet amazing significant others who better them, encourage them, and truly love them and I am constantly grateful to know wonderful couples like that. I suppose somewhere, deep within my proud and rebellious heart, I believe that if I can buck the trend as long as possible, than I've officially made it to Saint-like Maturity. As I continue to write this post, I'm realizing more and more how ridiculous this whole thing is, which is probably a good thing to realize now rather than 25 years down the road when I'm a bitter and cynical single still.

It's funny to think that my mother was married at my age, technically even a few months younger than I am now. Funny, and a definite check on where I am in life. I mean, my mother and father clearly had the maturity, the wisdom and the deep love that only a married couple can have by this age, something that I still feel so far away from. So, perhaps in my pursuit for utter independence, I've actually been pushing away the idea and reality of true commitment, which is ultimately the biggest sacrifice one can make and perhaps the truest mark of Saint-like Maturity, as commitment, whether to God or a person, takes an incredible amount of faith and trust. Perhaps in a roundabout way, I've been regarding relationships in a far more childish way than I care to admit...though I suppose this post just admitted it for me. 

Before I end this long and convoluted post, let me reassure Readers that I have no intentions of trying to make up for wrong thinking by latching on to the nearest Available around me; that would be stupid, plain and simple. Don't expect to see any changed Facebook statuses in the near future either. However, now that I've shared my thoughts and am perhaps a bit more open to the overall idea of romantic relationships, maybe the next time my folks mention "grandchildren" I won't scoff quite as loudly! Lots of love (the platonic kind, I mean) to you all!

Tis the Season of Over-sized Sweaters and Pumpkin Spice Lattes

It's official: Fall is upon us. Though technically we have another two weeks till the calender declares it Autumn, but we all know that Fall begins as soon as the first Pumpkin Spice Latte is consumed (with long-awaited gusto, I might add). So here I sit, drinking my third Pumpkin Spice of the Season, attempting to study for my first test this semester whilst being serenaded by Diana Krall. And while I sit here, I find myself thinking about my future. Though I seem to worry and fret about my future on a daily basis, I now find myself languishing the thought of being twenty-eight (I never said it was a "distant future"), sipping the first PS Latte of the season, smiling and loving life, perhaps with an equally life-loving man next to me! 

The fact is I really have no notion about what the future looks like, and I'm certain any thoughts I may have are WAY off base! So occasionally, I enjoy day-dreaming about life and the possible good that could ensue. I'm certain I'm not alone in this either. Admit it, at some point I'm sure everyone reading this has sat back and wondered, "Hmmm...what if...?"

This is my What If moment. And I am enjoying it immensely! Soy Pumpkin Spice Latte and all!

There really is no rhyme or reason behind this post, as is the case with most of what I write. Meh...my grade nine English teacher would be appalled (Remember...TRANSITION!), but I enjoy simply typing sometimes. Meaningless as these scribbles (or rather, pixels) may be, there something to think on, something to savor, something to smile at. 

Speaking of smiling, here's a few old photos of my dog, Rolo! Enjoy and Goodnight!

Trapped in the Kitchen...and paying tuition to be there!

Before I begin, apology for my lack of recent updates. Not that, I suspect, my infrequent posts give reason for anyone to be dismayed (save perhaps my Mother), but I apologize all the same!

It's true...or rather, it's TRU! I am a student once more! Not to be dramatic, but I never thought I'd live long enough to see the day I willingly returned to school. But, alas, the time has come! I am currently enrolled in Professional Cook Training Year 1, which sounds far more glamorous that it is. Though there is some theory, most of the course is practical, hands-on work experience, which I am so looking forward to. As first year students, we will be cooking for the University's cafeteria, open for both breakfast and lunch. Early mornings and off early enough in the afternoons to have plenty of time to work outside of school. I will pretty much have no life outside of a kitchen for the following months. My future husband will be very pleased indeed...

I confess that I was less than thrilled upon arrival today. Though some of you reading this know me as a funny, occasionally obnoxious, lovely lass, I have to say this: I DETEST CROWDS! Especially crowds where I am new and have no immediate connection to anyone or anything. It honestly makes me want to run for the hills. I literally had to force myself to even introduce myself to people today. I can't blame it all on being exhausted (barely a lick of sleep last night) or personality traits. I can say I was beyond nervous for the first hour or so, for no apparent reason either. It's not like the students and faculty are out to kill me (as far as I know...). 

If anything, the thing that reaffirmed that I'm not in fact insane for enrolling was this: I'm really not here for me. Listening to the instructor talk about how food creates an experience for people, that you can go anywhere with these skills, that in the kitchen it's all about a "Family"...I remembered that I'm here for people. I'm here to meet people in my course who have incredible passion and to be inspired by them and be inspiring for them. I'm here to learn from my instructors, all of whom I'm sure have fantastic stories and who will instill in me a passion for creating something beautiful (and delicious). And I'm also here because I want to bless people in years to come; Not only by the food I make for others, but by teaching others skills they can use to bless their friends and families, skills to help people get back on their feet and move forward in life. I want to use my passion for people to fuel my passion food, not the other way around. 

So, I look forward to learning how to filet a fish, make choux pastry properly and put together a divine product. I look forward to it because, for me, it's not about the food itself, but rather about the people who enjoy it and are with me to see it through.

Hope this sentimental and rather sappy blog post makes you smile! And think, as you read this today, tomorrow, or months down the road...what skills and passions do YOU have that you use to bless others? And are you, indeed, blessing others with them? So go out there and make someone's day today! Lot's of Love to one and all!