Normal

Ok, so I'm reading a book that many of you have probably heard of (if not, I HIGHLY recommend it). The book is Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and it is an excellent book which I am shocked at every time I pick it up. I secretly think Don is the subconscious part of my mind, bringing things to light which I was kind of ok with chillin' in the dark. Sadly, I have the mind to realize that ignorance is NOT bliss, therefore, it's time I confess a few things to you, my readers and the general public at large:

I am terrified of normalcy, of living an ordinary life. I'm petrified when it comes to committing to one thing, one time, one place, even one person. I hate the idea of a nice-to-five life for the rest of my time here on Earth, and nothing scares me more than never being truly known. 

I suppose you could trace back these fears to childhood. Before I say anything more, let me first say I don't blame God or my parents for the many moves we as a family made; as of late, I've come to terms with them and realize that each move had a reason, a purpose, and came at just the right time. Growing up, we moved nine times and my sister and I attended nearly a dozen schools. My parents were involved in different organizations and churches, and rarely worked the same job for more than three years. I had many different friends which lasted as long as I attended the same school or church. As a result, we didn't live "normal" lives and lasting friendships have been between far and few. With that in mind though, the friendships that have withstood the test of time have been amazing, encouraging, and such a blessing for me, particularly in times of serious depression and anger with the world.

I didn't live what the media portrays as "normal", and that has been a small comfort all these years. Call it pride, call it a defense mechanism; I enjoyed being, what I deemed, one of the few really different people. I would (and to my shame, still do) make known how different and odd I truly was. I suppose it helped me cope with the fact that I did indeed feel on-the-outs. A wanderer with few close friends and nothing overly profound about me, I felt the need to, in some way, stand apart from my peers. 

All this to say, normalcy is something I don't want to associate with, for fear that if I do, I'll lose what has kept me from being just another face in the crowd. I fear that if I commit to one place, one time, one person, I will suddenly lack the mystery and intrigue that I've pretended to have for so long. But is this just sheer independence and my own rebellious nature?

And THIS is where Donald Miller comes in. There's far too much in my mind to write it all down in coherent words and phrases, but he has certainly struck a chord, I'll give him (or God, or both) that. Here is an average guy, living a normal life, going to university, not overly "Christian"...and yet, I find his story fascinating. I love how God speaks to him and gives him such incredible insight into how God sees the world. I love how something as "normal" as going to university is turning out to be the Ultimate Faith Challenge and the people he meets constantly push him to believe in something, to go deeper in life. I love how he makes the exact same mistakes I make, making me feel slightly less like an idiot. I guess it's like the infamous Mom line says, "Everybody's unique", which I used to take as a load of bull (pardon me...) for meaning, "Everybody is useless and boring" but now I realize that God doesn't make "boring".

Ok...let me sum up my thought process: God made man in His image, we are made in the image of God. According to dictionary.com (yes, not the best reference), one definition of the word normal is "the standard". So, we agree that God is the Ultimate Standard, right? Which would make God "The Normal". Then, wouldn't being "normal" mean you are, perhaps not THE standard, but close to the standard, meaning Christ-like? Meaning that to be "normal" is to be the closest to who God made us to be? Just thoughts, and I haven't fully thought these through either. Simply writing scrawled on a blog where the world wide web can read it. 

Thoughts, anyone?